The boom/bust cycle remains very much in full swing, and as you can probably already tell, we’re heading (if not already there) into the very height of the cycle, where optimism regarding the derby will be coming to a crescendo in the next month.
What you will see and hear:
‘Better squad on paper’
‘Your bubble is bursting’
‘Played no-one’
‘Put your money where your mouth is’
‘We’ll see in the derby’
and of course, the customary
‘9-1 9-1 2-1 2-1 ROFL LMAO FTM’
Remain your usual, calm and collected self during this time. Do not approach any stray Mackems in the street as they may be venomous. Remember, this will all disappear post-derby, and we will then be in the longest stretch of the cycle where the derby defeat will be painful, their best players will leave and the manager’s reputation will decrease and decrease.
This was yet another public service broadcast by the boys at ShiteSeats.
As our chart shows, the Mackem boom/bust cycle continues in full swing. We are currently at the area in red, having sacked their manager and heading towards a new one.
What you will see during this period:
Increased Mackem presence in forums and work
Phrases such as ‘North East Top Dogs’ and responses to derby chat with ‘we shall see’
Tentative wagers on the next derby game
Comments about their squad ‘on paper’ and their new manager being their best ever.
Please be vigilant during these difficult times. Remember, this is a temporary thing but will get worse in the lead-up to the next derby in March. Keep your wits about you and keep cool. From March until the end of the season, normal service will resume.
This was a public service announcement by ShiteSeats.
“I’d like to donate some sperm” he says to the receptionist.
“Certainly Sir” replies the receptionist, “have you donated before?”.
“Yes” replies Phillips “you should have my details on your computer”.
“Oh yes, I’ve found your details” says the receptionist “but I see you’re going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?”
“Why do I need help?” asks Phillips. The receptionist replies
“Well, it says on your record that you’re a useless wanker….”
A bloke on his way home from work in Newcastle comes to a deadhalt in traffic on City Road and thinks to himself, Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing’s moving.”
He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks: “Officer what’s the hold up?” The officer replies: “It’s a Mackem, he’s just so depressed about losing 5-1 to the lads and the prospect of winning fuck all after gobbing off all november and december, he’s threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him, his Middleboro’ mates are all laughing at him and he has never had a job, I’m walking around taking up a collection for him.”
“Oh really?” says the executive “How much have you collected so far?”.
“So far,” replies the policeman
“Only about three hundred litres, but a lot of people are still siphoning.”
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