Modern Football is the F*/*in Sh*ts - Reasons 1-10

Modern football is fckin shite and heres why

1. BMC - ‘By Mutual Consent’ what a load of toss, this word is batted around by daft journos and idiot football management when they dont want to get sued for saying stuff like ‘he was shite’ or ‘he had a heed like a box of crisps’ - tossbags the lot of em.

2. The 4th official - what the fck do these guys do - hold up the board for the subs, thats it for me as ive seen them do fckin nowt else, and some of the twats cant even do that properly.

3. Chelsea - no words needed. Luminous strips, ridiculous wage bills, shit hair styles and WAGs - fck off man.

4. Moronic ‘1 matchers’ - You know the fckin knacka that turns up once a year and slags off all the players or those unfortunate to be having a bad day - fcking great supporter you are - and have you noticed there usually ugly, fat, smell of ale and late (delete as appropriate)

5. Gloves and Vests - Why the f**k in the age of global warming do you see players in gloves and vests, you never seen this back in the day when it was colder than an Eskimos Fridge. One word ‘puffs’ !

6. Tattoos - so you’re from wales - lets have a massive dragon / so you’re shite scared of god - get a cross / so you’re from newcastle get a massive NUFC on your beer gut - WTF! when I was a young un only alkys, metallers, crazys,  binmen and sailors had tattoos. I’ve got nowt against them but its like a designer badge thing for the young footballer these days, like who can get the biggest daftest tattoo - cant wait till there 70! - “Fuck I knew I shouldnt have got that tattoo of ‘Elton John; on my Arse” - AN Other - Watford fan.

7. Fan Web Forums - My team’s better than yours. No, my team’s better than yours. No, my team’s better than yours. No. my team’s better than yours. Repeat until the world ends or you get a job/leave uni..

8. The Champions League - Since the European Cup turned into the Champions League in 1992 - what’s changed? - well  If you won the European Cup, you were the best team in Europe. Now if you win the Champions League, you probably were not a champion and you owe someone £700 million.

9. Points Deductions - This is England, not Italy. Deducting points from teams because they failed to comply with the Football League’s insolvency rules or because they paid agents through a holding company has turned the bottom of League Two into a joke. Luton Town started the season on minus 30 points. The team at the bottom of the table should be the worst side in the league, not the club with the idiot fckin accountant.

10. Club Shops -Loads of utter fckin tripe on shelf after shelf - with owners fcking greedier than your average bond villain, look at Arsenal where they have a pets section FFS! I would just love to get my fcking dog NUFC flea shampoo then pick up a packet of Michael Owen endorsed worming tablets for my pooch - greedy c**ts stick a badge on a packet of crisps and charge 3x the price - the sad thing is the majority fall for it so whos the daftest!

more coming soon