FFC 5-2 NUFC

The Jekyll and Hyde United rocked up at Craven Cottage yesterday as we dominated a very average Fulham side in the first half then capitulated to an invigorated Fulham in the second.

Leading 1-0 at half time through a Danny Guthrie goal, Pardew’s Mags managed to throw it all away in a spectacular fashion, conceding five goals in a half with only one Hatem Ben Arfa strike to comfort the blows.

United started with Ben Arfa replacing Ryan Taylor on the right on the midfield, and dominated a first half where the fluidity of passing and movement was only let down by poor finishing - Coloccini and Shola guilty of missing the worst of the opportunities before a spectacular strike from Guthrie sent United in deservedly ahead.

Whatever was said during the half-time break backfired in a monumental fashion, as the horrible little-footed shite Damien Duff won a pathetically weak penalty after a ‘push’ from Davide Santon. Murphy despatched the penalty, and from that moment on disaster followed for the forlorn Mags.

Dempsey added a fortunate second as Tim Krul’s save from Zamora’s shot hit him in the chest and over the line, and it was three minutes later, when Dempsey shot across Krul.

The fourth goal in 17 shambolic minutes came when another harsh decision, this time against Tim Krul, resulted in a second penalty, which was despatched down the middle by Bobby Zamora.

Hope was temporarily restored with another excellent strike from Hatem Ben Arfa, but Dempsey claimed his hat-trick when a simple ball over the top left Williamson and Colo looking like they were running in treacle, and the American slotted past Krul.

It was a bizarre game and a shocker of a result, but United are a stronger and more resolute side than they have been for many years - and all around the club will be expecting a response at the Amex Stadium in Brighton on Saturday in the FA Cup Fourth Round.

Match Preview & Predictions - Fulham (A) - Premier League - 21/01/2012 - 15:00

Saturday’s game against Fulham comes on the back of three United back to back home wins in January (League & FA Cup respectively).

In a traditional 3pm kick off, we face a Fulham team who are having a mixed season in terms of results, however look to be a steady side at home.  Only 3 teams have maximum points at Craven Cottage so far this term.

Along with Ba, Tiote and new signing Papiss Demba Rodney (Dave) Cisse is also away at the ACON.  Fulham are thought to be without Demblele and Schwarzer.

Our Thoughts:

@therealrobbo – Newcastle are coming into this game on the run of 3 wins and are the team on form, however without sparks of magic in previous games we have struggled to break teams down, now back on the road this could be a very low scoring affair and Fulham are favourites at evens, with NUFC out to 14/5 with some firms.

This I think will be a tight affair and I would be more than happy with a point, but no real reason why we couldn’t take 3 if the team find their shooting boots as Fulham look weak in front of goal and have no clean sheet in their last five league games.

Prediction - Therefore would go for Besty first and last goal and perhaps a 0-0 or a 0-1 NUFC win.

@rammlet - This is going to be tight and we don’t have a great record at Fulham down the years. At lot may well depend on Cabaye’s fitness and whether Pardew has the bottle to start with Ben Arfa.

The likes of Guthrie, Shola, Best etc have a lot to prove with their respective replacements off at the ACON so I think it’ll be an interesting match.

Prediction - I can’t see us winning but I don’t think they’ll turn us over either, so I’m going to go for a score draw.

@mattypnufc – Personally speaking I think this game may be asking too much for our stand-in strikers to do a job.  Saying that with the arrival of a new body it may just push Shola into activating his ‘can be arsed’ chip. 

Fulham are one of those teams that can be brilliant (Arsenal at Home) or shite (Blackburn Away), depending on their mood.  Ruiz looks a tidy player and could see him nicking a goal.  If Andy ‘bloody’ Johnson plays then he’ll no doubt get a goal too.  Stop Danny Murphy (I know…he’s not that good, he’s old etc but always plays a blinder against us) and we’ll win.

Prediction - . It all hinges on the midfield battle for me.  If Cabaye and Guthrie start then we’ll win 2-1. If not, I’ll go for an optimistic score draw like Gary.  

Shola is still at broon ale buoyant level of glee at the moment!

– The Shields Gazette publish the weirdest story of the year!

Incoming?

Looks like we have a striker incoming after all, as Papiss Cisse allegedly jetted into town to become our first January signing.

Knowing diddly-squat about him, we’d like to say how delighted we are with his signing, and how excited we are to see him finally strutting his stuff in the black and white stripes*.

*Unless it all falls through, in which case we’d never heard of him, so he must be shit.

The 2012 African Cup of Nations

So it’s finally here, the 2012 CAF starts on Saturday. We all know that Tiote and Ba have jetted off to take place in Africas International showpiece. Here are the dates for your diarys….more updates to follow as we progress.

All times stated are West Africa Time (UTC+1)

21st Jan
Equitorial Guinea v Libya (opening game) 19:30
Senegal v Zambia 22:00

22nd Jan
Côte d’Ivoire v Sudan 17:00

25th Jan
Equitorial Guinea v  Senegal 20:00

26th Jan
Côte d’Ivoire v Burkina Faso 20:00

29th Jan
Libya v Senegal 19:00

30th Jan
Côte d’Ivoire v Angola 19:00

Good Luck to Tiote and Ba.

NUFC 1-0 QPRFC

United made hard work of turning over Mark Hughes’ new QPR side, but beat them they did at an abso-fucking-lutely baltic SJP this afternoon.

Despite his wonder goal last week, Hatem dropped to the bench with Ryan Taylor starting out wide right and Danny Guthrie starting in the middle, while Shola and Best started up top.

QPR had the best of the chances, with both the irritating Jay Bothroyd (not very good) and Shaun Wright-Phillips (past it) going close to breaking the deadlock for the visitors.

Yohan Cabaye was forced off on the half hour after a typically scything challenge from Shaun Derry, and was replaced by Hatem Ben Arfa as Pardew shuffled the pack and the formation, with what looked like a 4-3-3 allowing Barfa and Best to attack from wide behind the front man Shola.

It was Leon who opened the scoring, after good work from Shola and Guthrie found him in the area, and he cut back inside the defender and slotted expertly into the bottom corner past Fat Paddy Kenny.

A scrappy game was not helped by Hughes usual kicking tactics, and as half of the QPR side found themselves in the book, the game failed to find any flow.

Ben Arfa looked lively out wide again, and Santon and Coloccini were once again foot-perfect at the back, while Jonas and Guthrie put their stamp on the midfield effectively.

For QPR, it was another defeat that leaves them cemented in the bottom three, but, with Arsenal losing at Swansea later this afternoon, United jumped to sixth, level on points with the Gooooooooooners and only four off the Champions League places.

Ask the Seats, you certainly did….

We opened up our twitter stream this evening between 7 and 8 and invited you to #AskTheSeats and you did, we all had a good laugh answering your questions, some serious and some not so serious.

Here are some of the corkers

• how many brick walls would it take to stop tiote running at full tilt?
• How many times has the Bat-Mobil (Bat-Man’s Car) had a flat Tyre?
• do u guys know anything about why id be gettin charged £12 delivery from NUFC Direct for the 3-0 DVD to Belfast
• where can I get one of those ‘inside out scotch eggs’ mentioned on the podcast? Can’t get the idea out of my head
• What are the winning lottery numbers for tomorrow night please?
• if colo and jonas had a little argentine together would it be animal vegatable or mineral? and what would it most resemble?
• who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong? And did someone call the RSPCA when they found out?
• Is @mattypnufc still bringing a copy of Windows 7 round to mine tonight?
• do you know where I can get one of them invisible bmx bikes that shola uses to get about the pitch on?
• What happens when you get scared half to death …
• Has @rammlet ever revealed how he got time off to go to blackburn away in 2005? Mystery!
• I am goin to be workin but what do you guys think to safe standing at St James?
• when spurs play Liverpool will the resulting meltdown in choosing between Parker & Gerard as mom find the Higgs Boson particle?
• A jonaocolli?. Long curly perm in a pony tail with a beard. 7O’s porn star who plays canny football
• Is it true Tim Krul was named after his mams favourite TV star Timmy Mallet and he owns a budgie named Magic?
• if you could spend £1 to get Mr Rahman to put a zip in anything, what would you get him to put the zip in?
• was Supermac turned down for a job at Byker Farm cos he “Couldn’t catch a pig in a passage”?
• Did Ronald MacDonald ever play for us dressed up as Billy Askew?
• are pandas the goths of the bear world?
• Who’s accidental knob flash was more impressive, Paul Scholes or Peter Beardsley?
• if billy askew was the last piece of Jim smith’s jigsaw what the hell was the picture he was making???
• In a battle of the tag, who would get more blame, Obertan, Perch, Simmo or Shola?
• if Tiote kills a man in the woods, but no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?
• what is the correct collective noun for a number of Ameobis????
• How do you get out of Tesco @ Kingston Park? Beardo’s been stuck in there for years. I think he’s lost!
• What’s the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Genius or what! Sorry we couldnt show em all - but check out our Twitter stream for the banter that ensued.

Much Love

Robbo, Gazza and Matty