Touché…

NUFC 2-1 AVFC: Your #5WordReviews

There were, to put it mathematically, a fuckton of #5WordReviews sent to us yesterday and today. Here are our favourites:

@lovetheturret: Double Dembas doesn’t disappoint…like
@David_Mullan: Ciss9 gets lost in warmup!
@Doddsy9: I love the Double Dembas
@howay51: Dembas went in two by two (that’s 6 but who cares?)
@AndrewBThompson: Perch is Busquets in disguise
@SamBaldwin19: Papiss poaches Pardew’s precious points
@Hayrr: The Dembas take the Papiss
@Bromptonite: Let’s not forget Tim Krul
@ToonTeg: Deadly Double Dembas Vanquish Villans
@MontyMag: Weak refereeing yields unnecessary injuries
@billyjoelismint: Never mind Cissé, Perchy’s mint
@blefuscu74: Let’s all laugh at Villa
 @IainReynolds: Demba Demba sink the Sulker
@sytuck1977: The Demba Boys are coming!
@LeeSibbald: So where’s your messiah now?
@teeweeM: Newcastle are still riding luck
@Bully5HVFC: Laugh last, laugh the longest 

And our favourite, for the sheer brilliance of the wordplay, the pun and the clever use of limited words goes to: 

@Rob_Hardie85: Newcastle won against Aston Villa 

NUFC 2-1 AVFC

A wonderful debut strike from Papiss Demba Cissé gave Pardew’s Mags another crucial home three points to keep the charge for - don’t snigger - the Champions League places on track.

Pardew shuffled his pack again, this time starting with a midfield of Raylor, Guthrie, Perch and Jonas in a four-man midfield, with Leon Best partnering the returning Demba Ba up front, only for him to lose Best early on, giving the opportunity for Demba II to make his debut.

And it was the original Demba who gave the lads the lead on the half-hour, when he swept home following a blocked Ryan Taylor effort on his return from the African Cup of Nations. Raylor was badly injured in the process - inadvertently it seems from a Stephen Warnock block - and was carried from the field with his leg in a splint, though Pardew has since said that the injury was not as bad as first feared.

United were struggling at the back though, with N’Zogbia and Bent both causing problems for the back four, and after various close-shaves, Robbie Keane finally equalised in the fourth minute of first-half injury time after he touched home from close range following an N’Zogbia cross.

Villa again had their chances in the second half, but the Mags did also, with Cissé guilty of a very poor miss from 6 yards from a Guthrie cross, before he popped up with a goal of stunning quality to give our boys all three points.

Jonas swung in a beautiful ball from out left, which found it’s way to Cissé, who controlled and stuck a stunning left-foot strike high into Shay Given’s net to the delirium of another packed SJP.

United found themselves hanging on in the later stages, but came away with another great three points, and credit must go to James Perch for another tidy performance in the centre of midfield.

Chelsea went one point clear again with their 3-3 draw with Man Utd later on, but we continue to surprise, frustrate and impress in equal measures and remain 9 points clear of that eighth place and could - just could - find ourselves back in Europe.

BRFC 0-2 NUFC

United snuck away with a rare three points from Ewood on Wednesday night as an goal from Scott Dann and a first for Gabriel Obertan gave Pardew’s Mags a 2-0 victory.

Fortune favoured us for the first time in a while, and shone on Ryan Taylor when his strike from outside the area took a wicked deflection off Scott Dann and wrong footed Paul Robinson to give a 12th minute lead.

Blackburn spent the majority of the game piling forward, and United had Tim Krul to thank for keeping them ahead, when he made an excellent double save from a David Dunn penalty and then from the rebound by Gael Givet, and despite Blackburn’s dominance - Danny Simpson yet again blocking a goal bound effort on the line, United hung on, and hit Rovers with a sucker punch in the 96th minute when a superb through ball from Danny Guthrie played in Obertan, who calmed stroked the ball home.

Arsenal’s draw meant that United moved up into fifth position, and t was a real pickup for United following two poor defeats, keeping up the frankly incredible charge towards the Champions League places.

Pardew admitted afterwards that it was a lucky result, but with the Dembii back on Sunday, United can look forward to three home games in four, starting with Villa on Sunday.

The night before the morning after….

Your wife decides to go out with her friends on a girls night dancing….

You’re okay with it, because you get to watch sports all night….

You hear her stumble into bed around 4am and laugh knowing she’s
Going to have a monster hangover….

You wake up next morning and go outside to the family Volvo, which
She used last night…

You sigh in relief because it’s all in one piece….

You circle the car looking for dents and find none….

But then …. Wait a minute….

A picture is worth a thousand words….

Thanks to Daz for this one!

An Evening With David Ginola…

…”Cos he’s worth it!”

Our friends at Players Inc have asked us to plug an event for them, which we are happy to oblige.

Next round is on you Steve.

Many football dinners are an excuse for a lads night out in Newcastle these days, but Players Inc Events are looking to buck the trend with their latest event set to take place later this year.  An Evening with David Ginola will take place at the Lancastrian Suite on Friday 27th April and as Players Inc managing director Joe Allon explains this one is definitely one for the ladies.

” We did the deal with David last year when he was over for the ‘Entertainers’ game and I am delighted to be bringing him back to the North East for what should be a well attended event. We have had a lot of enquiries already from women for this event and that comes as no surprise to me. He has matured like one of his fine wines and with Valentines day coming up I’d say it was the perfect way for a husband to get into his wifes good books this year by buying her a ticket for the event of the year. The bonus is he gets to go to and meet one of Newcastles most exciting and influential players for many a year.” 

Tickets options are as follows:

VIP £95  Meet and greet with David Ginola along with other VIP Guests. A private area and bar, professional photograph, an opportunity to get an autograph on any pre owned memorabilia  and self service buffet meal (choice of  main courses). 

Standard £35 - An Evening with David Ginola entry and self service buffet meal . 

Unsigned photographs will be available on the evening at an extra cost fro standard ticket holders.  To book tickets please call 0191 2299631 or alternatively visitwww.playersincevents.co.uk and book on-line. book early to avoid disappointment.

BHAFC 1-0 NUFC

On a cold January’s night in Brighton, United yet again tumbled out of the FA Cup to lower league opposition in a meek and feeble manner.

Just as we did at Stevenage last year, we surrendered our last chance of silverware for another season, this time to the irritating scrote Gus Poyet and his ragbag team of limited but passionate players.

United lined up with only one change from Fulham, with James Perch replacing the injured Colo, but it wasn’t at the back where United looked weak - with our midfield and ‘forwards’ particular poor on a shocker of a night for the Mags.

With Shola up top, Leon nominally out left, and Ben Arfa on the right, and with the position of Jonas open to debate, United kept possession well but posed almost no threat to the Brighton goal, save for a couple of Leon Best efforts, one of which was an excellent touch and shot just wide, the other a poor header over.

With Danny Simpson and Ben Arfa showing very little down the right, it was left to Leon and Cabaye/Guthrie to pose an attacking threat, but they failed to do so as United once again crashed out of the cup in the early rounds as the likes of Stevenage progressed.

The only goal of the game came when WIll Buckley cut inside and saw his shot take a critical deflection off Mike Williamson and into the United net. The travelling Mags tried to rouse their heroes, but they never looked like equalising, and were lucky to keep 11 men on the field, with Cabaye seemingly kicking out at the bald, chip-on-the-shoulder centre half Adam El-Abd.

And so another trophy less season for United, and with some warranted (and a lot of unwarranted) criticism sent the way of the players, Pardew and co will need to make amends on Wednesday night at Blackburn, where we may have the services of our Senegalese Dembii, fresh (or not) from their elimination from the African Cup of Nations.

Match Preview & Predictions - Brighton (A) - FA Cup - 28/01/2012 - Live on ESPN - 17:15

After last weekend’s second half capitulation to Fulham we face a stern test down the south coast against a decent Brighton team.

With the team currently on a ‘refresh’ break in Tenerife, Newcastle will be looking to bounce back from Saturday’s terrible second half display.

Gus Poyet (still despise this prick for those goals in that semi-final) is in the dugout for them and former Newcastle player Lua Lua is set to come back from injury. 

Our Thoughts:

@therealrobbo – Well…talk about a game of 2 halves! What happened at Fulham should be brushed aside for this potential banana skin.

Brighton just lucky to get past a spirited Wrexham side will be looking to knock United out of the cup live on TV (déjà vu anyone). Most ties of this nature are unpredictable and I can see both teams scoring and United perhaps coming away with at least a draw.

Prediction -   United to shade this 2-1 or 1-1 and a 40 yard screamer from Brighton which will be showed ad-infinitum every cup weekend football focus from now until the end of time.

@rammlet - We really should be taking the FA Cup as seriously as possible, there’s no point in playing a weakened side when all we want to do is win some silverware finally.

Having said that, I would like to see the likes of Vuckic and Abeid get a run-out, but ideally not too many changes.

If we play a reasonably strong side we can get a victory though for some reason I see us struggling. If we could get them back to SJP I’d be reasonably happy (apart from the extra game).

Prediction -  I’ll say score draw and United through in a replay.

@mattypnufc – The FA cup is an important competition in these parts.  Perhaps devalued due to the big clubs not giving too much of a fuck over the years sadly, it remains our best possible way of achieving silverware and European qualification.  We have to go all out for it.

We should be putting out a full strength team, however with three games in quick succession, changes will probably be made and probably the same as Gaz has said, put Vuckic & Mehdi in. 

It will be a tough game as Brighton aren’t an easy team especially at their place.

Prediction -  A 2-0 to us or an exciting 2-2 with the replay back at St James’.

Shola is still a happy lad even after last weekends game.  A pint of exhibition please pet.

Can you Name Them…

Do you think you could name the 10 ENGLAND players that have played for Newcastle United (on the books) when they have played in a major tournament (in the sqaud!), i.e. The World Cup or European Championships. You have 8 minutes on the clock…

Link to the game here

Are Newcastle One Season Wonders?

FFC 5-2 NUFC: Your #5WordReviews

After Saturday’s capitulation at the Cottage, here are your #5WordReviews:

@johnnylilley Winning till Gaz turned up (Yep - sorry!)
@Ludachris14: A game of two halves
@JamJarWilkie: It’s time for fooking beer
@blufescu74: Dempsey demolishes dire defending demonstration!
@CHNOSotP: Three points forfeited. Moving on.
@WeAreTheMags: There’s only one Eff-in Fulham
@NufcKev: What the FUCK happened, lads?!
@DaveBrennan: High defensive line fuck up
@McQue88: Did that really just happen?
@Cooperi4: Where the fuck’s our defence?
@DaveByrne1980: What happened at half time?

…and one which wasn’t even a 5WordReview but sod it, I’m putting it on anyway:

@AndyMarkSimpson: It’s National Pie Day today!