January 2011
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The 50 worst transfers
The Times published this article stating the 50 worst transfers in Premier League history since its inception. Make of this what you will but unsuprisingly there are a few mags present.
Including….
43 Titus Bramble, Ipswich Town to Newcastle United, £5m, July 2002 Bramble looked like a future England player when at Ipswich but became a byword for calamitous defending at Newcastle. 40...
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The Halcyon Days of NUFC
Warning these dates are factually incorrect…. January · Duncan chinned Totti · Keegan beat the Sultan of Brunei in a drinking contest. · Mick Quinn Eats Beresford after Mallorca away match · NUFC Top Trumps (unofficial) first played · Kinnear abuses Chalie N’Zogbia live in TV · Xisco hits bar against Hull and feints · Jonas goes to...
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Want to be part of NUFC Fan History
Many months ago I asked you all to provide the answers to the following questions for our ‘Quotes of Geordieanity’ publication. Thanks to those of you that have responded, weve recieved some great feedback….if you want to get involved send you answers to the following questions to us at info@shiteseats.co.uk
The Questions
Q1. What do you love about Newcastle United?
Q2. What...
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It’s all so quiet…
It’s been a while since my last rant…mainly as nothing too controversial has happened. However a few minor things have been eating away recently:
Harry Redknapp is the first one.
If this red faced, droopy look-a-like and all round dodgy bastard continues to tap up players in his round-about way, when are the FA going to do anything about it? Oh that’s right…never.
‘I like XXXXX player. He’s...
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Boro after Xisco?
Apparently the Smogs are after Xisco on loan for the rest of the season.
Would be a good signing for the beasts, bearing in mind Xisco has the same number of assists this season as:
That Kid from The Inbetweeners and…
Pob
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#LeonBestIsMint - Some Entries So Far...
Here are three of our favourite entries so far…
“Rapping his way to world mintness” by Ian Grainger, who had difficulties making the microphones not look like something from Ann Summers…
“LeonBestIsPoloMint” by Shane Saunders. It’s the absolute lack of paint skills followed up by shocking pun which makes this one so impressive. We love it. Well done...
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WIN! A LeonBestIsMint Tee - thanks to CultZeros!
To many of you, Leon Best’s mintness may have come as a bit of a surprise, but to us lads (and to our dedicated followers) Leon Best has always been so.
To celebrate our undying love for the great man (and to allow our new friends to bask in our reflected glory) we are running a competition for you to win a great LeonBestIsMint prize.
Our friends at CultZeros provide tee-shirts of heros and zeros...
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Football? It's all about the women...
Unlike our friends at Sky, we have no issue with women in football. That’s why, just before Christmas last year, we went to speak to Phil Eadon from the Newcastle United Women’s Football Club (NUWFC). Sadly for the girls of the NUWFC, what we heard was tales of difficulties – in promotion, positivity and funding. The NUWFC, unlike many other women’s football teams, are an entirely different...
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Ashley blows 1m in hours →
A rich man blows 1m in hours at a casino? Who gives a shit I would be doing the same! Oh he runs our club doesn’t he…naughty man
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“Somebody better get down there and explain offside to her, Can you believe that?...”
– Andy Gray and Richard Keys make themselves look like total dicks again. About time Sky got rid of these cretinous dinosaurs.
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NUFC 1-1 THFC
Spurs left SJP celebrating a point today as United’s strong season continued.
Missing several key players, Danny Guthrie returned to the centre of United’s midfield and Leon Best continued up top, and it was the mint man himself who had Unted’s best chance of a quiet first half when his scuffed strike bounced off the turf and onto the Spurs crossbar.
Tottingham had chances...
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Latest Transfer Rumours - Stephen Ireland
If the latest rumours are to be believed, Stephen Ireland set to join us on loan with a view to move permanently in the summer.
Decently player, if slightly nuts. Should fit in well with Barton/Carroll then.
the mans clearly unhinged.
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Darren Bent recieves death threats... →
Sad how the acts of a few, can define an entire club in the eyes of the media. That never happened to NUFC…oh shit wait…
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Newcastle Uniteds Finances in Black and White. →
Uniteds Finances Explained as well as some thought as to what could have happened. A nice article and well thought through.
Cheers to CD for this one.
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Routledge gone? Replacement in?
Little Wayne has gone back to QPR on loan until the end of the season.
Surely we are desperate for cover, does this mean someone is on the way, or has Pardew thought Ben Arfa and Gosling will offer cover for Joey?
Your thoughts as always are welcome via the usual places:
info@shiteseats.com
www.twitter.com/shiteseats
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Newcastle appoint John Carver as assistant manager
John Carver returns as assistant manager to Pardew until the end of the season. We’ve never know the current regime at NUFC to make a good decision yet, however this is great news for all involved. Sir Bobby trusted him and was ousted when Sourness came in for Dean ‘bloody hell’ Saunders. Expect some crap news to follow over the next few days knowing Newcastle United.
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SAFC 1-1 NUFC: Your Twitter #5WordReviews
Afternoon, sorry for the delay in the usual guff from ourselves!
After Sundays emphatic 1-1 win by 5under1and (hahahahahah) here’s your Twitter #5WordReviews:
terenceleonard - you’ll never beat the magpies!!! stodge87 - played SMB’s off park - ROBBED blufescu - Steve Bruce, What’s the song? whitworthian - sunderland open dead mans chest danegan1981 - fucking dirty jammy little...
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How many goals have you got against the Mackems...
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Archie’s Alternative Assessment Scumderland 1....
What can I say. We had more guts, and more heart than we’ve had in any game this season. This week we had a hatful of players who turned up for a fight. This week we had a team that deserved three points. Highlight of the game for me was when Nolan lobbed Bramble in the third minute to put Shola in on goal. Titus was so far out of position one of the Stewards asked him for a ticket. The Magpie...
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Iconic Football - In aid of the Sir Bobby Robson...
ICONIC FOOTBALL CREATED IN AID OF THE SIR BOBBY ROBSON FOUNDATION Top flight footballers today enjoy lavish lifestyles which are beyond the dreams of even their most famous and talented counterparts from the 1940s, 50s and 60s. And while the likes of Newcastle United’s Andy Carroll essentially play the same game as legendary players like Jackie Milburn...
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A Prayer for Sunday
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, The goals will come, The game will be won, In Sunderland as it was in Newcastle. Give us today our victory. Forgive us our celebrations as we forgive those who wish to celebrate against us. Save us from the unwashed and deliver us from their jealousy. For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are ours now and for ever. Ameobi.
...
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Local Hero.
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SAFC v NUFC - Derby Day Odds
Here are the latest odds on the Tyne-Wear Derby. Sunderland 6/5 (b365) Draw 12/5 (sb) Newcastle 14/5 (vc) 1st Goalscorer Bent 9/2 Gyan 11/2 Welbeck 11/2 Carroll 6/1 Amoebi 8/1 Nolan 8/1 Best 9/1 Lovenkrands 9/1 Ranger 10/1 Reid 10/1 Henderson 14/1 Zenden 16/1 Richardson 16/1 Gosling 20/1 Barton 18/1 Score Draws 0-0 8/1 1-1 6/1 2-2 16/1 SAFC 1-0 6/1 2-1 17/2 2-0 10/1...
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Region Of The Damned...
So then this weekend brings our almost yearly trek through to Chernobyl on Wear.
As always, we approach this game with a mixture of nerves and trepidation.
Not sure about the rest of you, but once again the makem’s in the work place have been giving it the ‘Big I am’ and how they are going to beat us and get revenge.
Can they not remember what happened last time?
Sorry but if a derby game...
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Some amusing pre-derby jocularity...
Kevin Phillips walks into a sperm donor bank
“I’d like to donate some sperm” he says to the receptionist.
“Certainly Sir” replies the receptionist, “have you donated before?”.
“Yes” replies Phillips “you should have my details on your computer”.
“Oh yes, I’ve found your details” says the receptionist...
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Sir Bobby Robson Foundation - Ocean To Ocean...
Alan Shearer Send Off For Ocean To Ocean Charity Cyclists
An ambitious group of north east cyclists are undertaking a sponsored coast to coast ride with a difference by cycling from Chile’s Pacific coast to the Atlantic Ocean in Argentina. The 1,000 mile challenge includes crossing the Andes mountain range and cycling around 100 miles a day. The six riders are funding the trip themselves and...
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Bored? No match on? Why not...
whet your footballing needs and take a historical trek through NUFC and most importantly it’s free, you tight bastards!
The lads/lasses at the Discovery have a Newcastle United memorabilia display running from the January 29th until June 26th 2011.
A little excerpt from the Discovery site:
NUFC: For the Love of Football will bring together an outstanding collection of football...
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The £100 premier league ticket →
The NUST share some disgraceful news #DeathOfFootball
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Toon Talk - Come and Join in
Local Radio Station NE1FM has made a major signing in the January transfer window by signing Steve Wraith ,Gareth Johnson and former Newcastle Number 9 Joe Allon to present ‘Toon Talk’ a new radio phone in for Newcastle United fans. The show has been running for a year over the internet with both budding broadcasters transmitting from there respective homes and listening to the...
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Come and Meet Shay Given!
Former Newcastle United goalkeeping legend Shay Given will be back in the North East for a charity talk in on Tuesday February 8th at the Tyneside Irish Centre, Gallowgate. Shay was due back in the North East in November last year for the annual Newcastle United players reunion hosted by Players Inc Events but had to pull out at short notice due to an Irish International fixture.
The event...
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Carroll to Spurs - what a joke!
The speculation regarding Carroll and Spurs reminds me of the old joke where a man and woman are chatting in a bar.
Man – “If I offered you a million pounds would you sleep with me?” Woman – “For a million pounds? Yes, I’d sleep with you” Man – “Would you sleep with me for a fiver?” Woman, rather indignantly – “For a fiver? No way – What do you think I am?” Man – “We’ve established what you are,...
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NUFC 5-0 WHUFC: Your Twitter #5WordReviews
After #LeonBestIsMint reached its crescendo on Wednesday night, we actually won a game handsomely as well…here’s your Twitter #5WordReviews:
@mtthwbrggs: Bugger me it’s Leon Best @Jasper08: Leon Best is indeed mint @KJDellow: See, Leon Best IS mint @NUFCThreatLevel: Cheik Tiote is Mr T @Nepharite: One Two Three Four Five @dcb72: Leon Best is actually mint @therealrobbo: Scotch...
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#LeonBestIsMint on ITV North East Tonight…
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May The Farce Be With You....NUFC
The Farce is a binding, metaphysical and ubiquitous power in the NUFC universe.
Midi-chlorians (also spelled “midi-clorians” or “midichlorians”) are a microorganism in the NUFC universe, first mentioned in the entertainers period. They are microscopic life-forms that reside within the cells of all living Geordies and communicate with the Farce. They are symbionts with all...
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SeatsReport: NUFC 5-0 WHUFC
Leon Best (is mint) was the hero last night as United hit five for the third time this season in a scarcely believable night at SJP. Starting up top in place of the injured Shola, Leon took his opportunity with both hands, and become scorer of possibly the least-likely NUFC hattrick in living memory, and the third different treble score of a season which is becoming more and more bizarre, even by...