March 2009
SHEARER CONFIRMED AS MANAGER TILL THE END OF THE...
Press conference on Thursday - this is not an April Fool!
Shearer taking over till end of season?
Unconfirmed reports that Shearer is to take over as manager until the end of the season. More on this when we hear it…
Magpies reveal Owen thinking →
Michael Owen is focused on regaining his full fitness and the job in hand at Newcastle, according to Chris Hughton.
Owen gets what he deserves....?
Michael Owen has finally got what he deserves in my opinion. His attitude over the past three years has made me sick. I am not a Newcastle fan but know the city and its people well and they deserve much more than what Michael Owen has given them. If he isn’t injured he is asking for more money. You get the impression in today’s society that there are 2 types of footballer. On the one...
“Obviously I look forward to next season, and I want to say that what’s...”
– Joe Kinnear. Please. Fuck. Off.
Magpies slam administration talk →
MD Derek Llambias has blasted suggestions Newcastle could be forced into administration as “ridiculous, unfair and unfounded”.
Kinnear desperate to return →
Newcastle boss Joe Kinnear has hinted he might take a back seat during games when he initially returns following heart surgery.
Owen told return criteria →
Newcastle captain Michael Owen has been told he will not return to the England squad on reputation alone by Fabio Capello.
The Mail shows itself up once more... →
The following comes from their poll to choose each club’s player of the season:
NEWCASTLE UNITED
Another club from the north-east deep in the relegation mire, but maybe the performances of Taylor, Martins and Butt have given Newcastle fans something to smile about during a traumatic season on Tyneside.
1. Steven Taylor 2. Obafemi Martins 3. Nicky Butt
Have they seen any NUFC games this...
On this day 35 years ago
United beat Burnley 2-0 to reach the 74 cup final
Midfielder launches Magpies attack →
Nicky Butt has launched an astonishing attack on his Newcastle team-mates and says they must fight their way out of trouble.
Winger handed loan chance →
Newcastle winger Kazenga LuaLua has joined Championship outfit Doncaster on a month’s loan.
NUSC issue War Cry to the Toon Army
“Newcastle United Supporters Club (NUSC) urges all fans to join together for a final push to fight the nightmare of finishing in the bottom three. We can’t pick the team, select a manager, dictate tactics or buy and sell players. What we can do is fill the ground for each of the four remaining home matches, just as we know the hardcore away support will take up every away ticket....
Dave Whelan - An Arseclart
After Phil Brown’s critique of Cesc Fabregas’s match-day wardrobe, another football figure is getting all shirty about a rival’s clobber.
Launching his new chain of fitness clubs this week, Dave Whelan, the Wigan chairman and noted arsehole, denounced the habit of the Newcastle owner (and his bitter business adversary) Mike Ashley of reporting for duty in a bar-code home shirt.
...
Barton pencilled in for Pompey clash →
Newcastle could have Joey Barton back in a month after a foot injury to add to the imminent availability of Mark Viduka.
Boss suggests Viduka D-day →
Chris Hughton has pencilled Mark Viduka in to play a part in Newcastle’s relegation fight and claims he could be ready to face Stoke.
Prolific frontman eyed →
Swindon Town’s prolific striker Simon Cox is being tracked by Newcastle as the club scout for players at Championship level.
Relegation Odds - 26th March
So were into the final straight now - heres the latest odds (best shown).
To go down.
WBA - 1/14 (Coral)
Boro - 4/7 (Lads)
Newcastle - 11/10 (Lads)
Stoke - 5/2 (Extrabet)
Hull - 3/1 (Coral)
Blackburn - 5/1 (Lads)
Mackems - 6/1 (BetFred)
“There’s no chance of Steve [Bruce] going to Newcastle while Ashley is...”
– Dave ‘The Ego’ Whelan (who has just renamed Wigan’s stadium to match his initials, and is a well known foe of our rotund owner) claims Steve Bruce would never work under Mike Ashley.
Have we been rumbled? →
Surely this can be the only explanation for our pathetic performances this season? UPDATE: Turns out it was FK Pobeda from Macedonia. The mystery regarding our shiteness continues…
Worlds Unluckiest Bloke
Japan has certified a man aged 93 as the only known survivor of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, both hit by atomic bombs towards the end of World War II.
Tsutomu Yamaguchi was in Hiroshima on a business trip on 6 August 1945 when a US plane dropped the first atomic bomb.
He suffered serious burns and spent a night there before returning to his home city of Nagasaki just before it was bombed on 9...
Scan boost for Toon ace →
Steven Taylor has targeted a return against Stoke City after a scan on his damaged ankle showed he had only suffered bruising.
Hughton denies his number's up →
Chris Hughton has shrugged off claims he has lost the Newcastle United dressing room after calls for an experienced big name manager.
Shiteseats Stats - March 24th
On the up…
2455 Visits
8428 Page Visits
3.43 pages/visit
26 different country visits (some new countries - Lebanon, Libya and Sweden)
127 different cities visits (some new cities - Kowloon, Canberra, Heidelberg)
Taylor eyes defensive role →
Ryan Taylor is hoping to benefit from Newcastle’s current defensive injury problems and establish himself at right back.
Toon deny El Tel talk →
Newcastle are understood to have rejected claims they are to ask Terry Venables to take charge until the end of the season.
Did Superdrunk try and chin Ashley?
According to one of the newspapers on Monday, a figure “well known” to NUFC past and present attempted to approach Ashley during the Arsenal game on Saturday only for his bouncers to hoy him out.
Supermac was missing from the Three Legends yesterday on Century (Real Radio, whatever).
Coincidence?
Ridiculous Holiday Complaints
Courtesy of The Telegraph - Sources: ABTA, Thomas Cook, AAP
A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel “inadequate”.
“The beach was too sandy.”
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and ...
LEAKED: New England Shirt? →
New True Faith out now...
We need to toughen up - Nolan →
Midfielder Kevin Nolan is confident Newcastle can avoid relegation but called on his team-mates to be more ‘ruthless’ in games.
Hughton happy with Owen decision →
Chris Hughton was happy with his decision to keep Michael Owen on the bench for Newcastle’s 3-1 home loss against Arsenal on Saturday.
A Newcastle fan...yesterday (maybe)
We are...
…fucked.
The entire back four and midfield which started yesterday have scored a grand total of five goals this season (S Taylor 3, Duff 2).
Our £10m centre-half has turned into Boumsong. Our best centre half is goosed. Martins tries to take penalties with whichever foot is closest to the ball at the time. Lovenkrands is shit.
Fuck.
Newcastle need quick results - Hughton →
Caretaker Newcastle boss Chris Hughton says he expects the club to be in a ‘dogfight’ to save themselves from the drop this season.
Newcastle United 1-3 Arsenal →
Arsenal scored three second-half goals to maintain their fine run and condemn relegation-threatened Newcastle to another defeat.
Nolan can hit right Toon - Hughton →
Midfielder Kevin Nolan will return from a three-game suspension for Newcastle’s clash with Arsenal at St James’ Park on Saturday.
Kinnear waits on Magpies deal talks →
Joe Kinnear says he will wait to see if he can keep Newcastle up and assess his own fitness before considering a new contract.
Owen eyes goals rush →
Newcastle striker Michael Owen admits there is no time for him to find his form as he looks to fire the club to safety.
Defender cagey over Toon deal →
Sebastien Bassong has refused to rule out a move to Arsenal after admitting Newcastle want to hand him a new deal.
Boss cites star as example →
Chris Hughton has hailed Ryan Taylor as an example to the United squad for how to react to being left out this week.
Striker's position plea →
Peter Lovenkrands is desperate to get back into the Magpies line-up to face Arsenal and says he’ll play anywhere to get back in.
The 10 reasons - up or down
Courtesy of the Northern Echo
Five reasons why Newcastle will stay up
1.THE MICHAEL OWEN FACTOR
Having been without their record signing for more than six weeks, Newcastle finally boast a fit and hungry Michael Owen in their ranks.
He might have been understandably ring-rusty during last weekend’s draw at Hull, but England’s all-time leading competitive goalscorer is likely to...