December 2009
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Push For Promo - An Update
#pushforpromotion – we are already at the half way through the season and the stats look very much in the favour of a #NUFC promotion, however based on the averages of the last 7 seasons of the Championship – we aim to track Newcastles promotion push slightly closer by tracking them against the averages achieved to gain promotion (play off status) and by game by game averages as the season...
Striker bid rejected →
Newcastle are reported to have failed with a £1.25million bid for Leeds United striker Jermaine Beckford.
“NUFC will have 2,400 fans making the 820 mile round-trip to Plymouth -...”
– SS fav George Caulkin states what we all know and that is the Mags are the greatest
Great Toon photos of our time - #7
St James’ Park in 1993/1994 season. The atmosphere was amazing even though capacity was only 36k.
Ahh the tales of season ticket waiting lists stretching the length of the coast road.
One for those a bit more geeky (Gaz I’m looking at you here) - this picture was actually used on an edition of Championship Manager as the front cover.
Great Toon photos of our time - #6
Promotion again. King Kev hugging some bloke wrapped in a Flag of St George (not a fucking makem top before any of you ugly bastards whinge).
Initial bid knocked back for Beckford →
Newcastle United have had an initial bid of 1.25m knocked back for Jermain Beckford. Ken ‘cockend’ Bates is holding out for nearer 2m according to the Journal.
Striker swoop dismissed →
Championship rivals Cardiff have dismissed reports linking Michael Chopra with a January move to Newcastle.
Magpies hope for double move →
Newcastle boss Chris Hughton says he wants to sign a new striker and central defender when the window opens.
Newcastle welcome back Smith →
Newcastle boss Chris Hughton has midfielder Alan Smith available after he missed the 2-2 draw with Sheffield Wednesday on Boxing Day.
Toon rocked by Villa demands →
Aston Villa are believed to have stunned Newcastle by demanding a large loan fee to enable Marlon Harewood to see out the season there.
Great Toon photos of our time - #5
The Fulwell End is always the full…
Newcastle United v Derby - 17:20 KO - Match... →
Great Toon photos of our time - #4
Another classic here. Andy Cole mobbed by toon fans following confirmation of promotion to the Premier League after the Grimsby Away game.
Houghton's number 1 target in January... →
Suprise suprise, linked with Beckford again. Anyone getting bored by this already?
Great Toon photos of our time - #3
KK giving something a red card. Apparently Newcastle said no too.
The twenty-five shits of Christmas - days 24 and...
It would be rude not to complete this on Christmas Day, and of course rude not to include the two total turkeys who started our incredible descent towards the abyss…
Days 24 and 25 are…Xisco and Nacho Gonzales.
Xisco signed from Deportivo for £5.7m by Dennis Wise, and Nacho Gonzales signed on loan from Valencia - both transfers not being approved by then-manager Kevin Keegan. The...
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR READERS!
Hope your holidays are great and your tidings…good?!
Here’s to a great Christmas and a Toon-tastic 2010 from the boys at ShiteSeats.
On this day in 1892
Our club was founded…
Chris give the lads the day off....ok then
Great Toon photos of our time - #2
David Kelly celebrates scoring the goal which saved us from relegation in 1992.
The 25 shits of Christmas - days 22 and 23...
Nearly there now before you can have a break from the pish footballers list.
Day 22 brings us Wayne Quinn…
Joined United from Sheff Utd originally on loan in 2001, and did enough to make Sir Bobby spend £800,000 to sign him permanently shortly after, Quinn was supposedly equally adept on the left of the defence or midfield. Sadly, he was decidedly average in both of those positions, and...
Wolves boss rules out striker move →
Wolves boss Mick McCarthy has ruled out a January transfer window bid for Newcastle striker Andy Carroll.
Defender linked with switch →
Sheffield Wednesday defender Mark Beevers is being linked with a January move to Newcastle United.
Striker linked with Prem move →
Newcastle could face a battle to keep hold of Andy Carroll after reports claimed Stoke City are keen on the striker.
“It’s remarkable and they never cease to amaze me. To get 50,000 on a...”
– Shola sums it up.
NUFC Stars visit the little ones in hospital →
Some lovely shots of the Mags visiting the nippers in Tynesides local hospitals
Duo face fitness fight →
Newcastle are sweating over the fitness of Alan Smith and Shola Ameobi ahead of the Boxing Day clash with Sheffield Wednesday.
Great Toon photos of our time...#1
Mags line the Gallowgate end in front of ‘The Scoreboard’ during the promotion season of 1992/1993.
The 25 shits of Christmas - days 19, 20 and 21...
As we head towards Christmas day (and we fly high at the top of the Championship), let’s take another five minutes to remind us of those players, past and present, who really were turkeys.
Day 19 brings us this fop-haired fecker…
Lionel Perez was probably the most baffling signing in the history of NUFC. Woeful for the most part at the mackems, his legacy there was his clownshoes...
NUFC fans what more can you say...
So 49,644 turned up at SJP on a freezing day on Tyneside with the game on Terrestrial TV, NUFC beat the SMBs record in the second tier of 47,350 against Stoke easily and it would have been more if the weather was better….the commitment of our fans is second to none and this first half of the season has shown in FACT that we are the best fans in the country…take a bow lads and lasses.
RIP Jack Hixon →
NUFC 2-0 Boro - 10pts clear at Xmas. No team can...
So another home game, another victory, another clean sheet and another goal each for Marlon and Shola put us ten points clear at the top of the Championship. WBA’s match was postponed on Saturday giving us the chance to extend our lead, and we did just that relatively comfortably on a baltic Sunday lunchtime at SJP.
Boro had large parts of the first half but didn’t really threaten,...
Toon Striker to miss out against Boro →
Striker Andy Carroll will be suspended as Newcastle face Middlesbrough at St James’ Park on Saturday.
Scotland/Sunderland/Charvers despair...
White Lightning is no more. Brewers Heineken had tried to improve its image with various measure, but it wasn’t to be.
Read more here.
FAO our Jock/Mackem/Charver readers, the Samaritans number is 08457 90 90 90.
Please do not do anything stupid this Christmas and think of your family.
The 25 shits of Christmas - days 15, 16 and 17
Our festive roundup of complete and utter turds continues today with number fifteen, Carl Cort.
Infamously rumoured to have been confused by Sir Bobby for Jason Euell, Carl was signed for £7m in July 2000 but never hit any sort of heights. His scoring record was reasonable at 7 league goals in 22 games, but his injury record on Tyneside was ridiculous, and he left for Wolves in 2004. More...
Shite Jokes pt.3
Why the fu*k did the Flintstones celebrate Christmas??? —————————————— Everyone should eat Babybel at this special time of year. After all, Christmas just wouldnt be Christmas without the baby Cheeses. ——————————————
Striker keen to stay put →
England under-21 international Andy Carroll has told Newcastle he wants to stay and is not interested in leaving St James’ Park.
Magpies eye new signings →
Chris Hughton says he is searching high and low for new players and hopes to bolster his Newcastle squad next month.
NUFC travelling fans →
Want to work out your travelling distance and time this season - click on the link - genius
Hughton targets Wilshere swoop →
Newcastle United are reported to be lining up a loan move for Arsenal youngster Jack Wilshere.
Taylor rumours dismissed →
Newcastle boss Chris Hughton has blasted rumours linking Steven Taylor with a move to Manchester United and says no-one is leaving.
The 25 shits of Christmas - days 11, 12, 13 and...
Another bumper edition of turtal turkeys, starting with Robbo’s favourite, Paul Cannell.
More famous for his name sounding more like an expletive than any sort of ability, Cannell, from North Shields, suffered from being Supermac’s replacement of sorts, and although had a fairly decent scoring record, he will be remembered predominantly as shite. So shite, in fact, that someone has...